Five Nights at Freddy's: Double Down!

It's been a while since I've watched a legitimately bad movie. But, this one will certainly take the cake! This is going to be one of our first Double Down reviews! Dan and I had very different takes,, so the review will focus on our differing takes and why we think the other is wrong. Feel free to read at your peril!

Editor's Note: The man above may have his opinion, but I'm here to say why he is wrong to me, and maybe to you as well!

Joseph:

PLOT: Awful. Don't listen to Dan.

The movie is a boring mess that moves from one point to another with no real care and tosses plot points away with no real care. A character death that is discussed the WHOLE MOVIE is ignored at the end in favor of more fanservice. The movie just screams that it's trying way too hard to please its fans without allowing newcomers to enjoy a half-decent movie. While this seems like what the movie's designed to do, they spend most of the runtime

CHARACTERS: Boring, mostly cut-outs with a few moments of cleverness.

For each moment I find a likeable character, an equally baffling moment puts them on a path towards just being boring. Oh, a sympathetic moment from Josh Hutcherson? Ruin it by showing him being rude to his sister. Oh, weird-ass job dude offers him a job? Too bad we know he's the villain because HE REACTED TO HIS NAME. At this point, we know that Josh's brother was killed by someone, showing us someone recognizing the name "Mike Schmidt" just tells us that he did it. The few moments of cleverness come from the relationship between Mike and his sister. It's a cute relationship, but every other bit of character falls flat as any Freddy Fazbear's Pizza.

SHOTS: Very little life outside of the pizzeria.

Outside of the pizzeria, the movie has VERY little interest in showing off any interesting camera angles or shots that wow the senses and we're left with this dull, gray, often ugly movie. While I understand it's meant to contrast between the pizzeria's colorful lights, it just feels like a dull, uninspired choice of filmmaking. That being said, inside the pizzeria, there's a ton of fun camerawork, puppetry, and even animatronic work that works wonderfully with the use of color and terrific camera angles inside the pizzeria. Almost like it should've just focused on the damn pizzeria?

SOUND: Bleh.

Nothing here really of worth minus a few tracks and a really nice use of a sea tune for Foxy. Even the credits are just a recycled song from 2014 that I'm sure Daniel praised for being faithful to the games. It feels weak and like they really didn't want to put in effort for a soundtrack minus nostalgia.

WRITING: Awful.

it is the most by-the-numbers detective story wrapped inside a wholesome family movie that tastes like cardboard. However, at the center of this disgusting candy is a wonderful center with a dark horror focused on a monstrous serial killer whose control of the animatronics has led him to his own demise. The sad thing is, I really love that center, especially since it's built up naturally unlike other things. It just falls flat in writing. On top of that, it has the audacity to try and shove in fanservice. I'm spoiling one thing from this movie and it's a cameo. Matthew Patrick of Game Theory fame shows up and says his stupid line, of course, because he has to say his stupid line. It was the biggest draw against this movie and made me completely detach from anything else in the movie. I know it's petty, but I refuse to give the movie props when I am very mean to other movies for fanservice over relevant plot.

CONS: Pretty much everything.

I hate to be mean to Five Nights at Freddy's, but there's very little good here. I won't spend too much time listing it, but everything just needed work or more time to develop. Funny enough, the original film was MUCH longer and focused more on the story, which ironically is my biggest complaint. Next time, give your characters more time, please?

LITTLE THINGS: Animatronic wonderland!

For all the negatives I listed, some good remains. While I sung the praises of certain things, I'd like to also praise two small things: Matthew Lillard and the animatronics. Matthew Lillard (Stu Macher from Scream or Shaggy from Scooby-Doo) is a terrific villain and works so well as an evil yet hammy villain. If only he was in more of the movie... but I digress. Additionally, the animatronics are so impressively constructed and detailed, the moments with just them make me so giddy and want to see more of them. Sadly, that was my only joy watching this.

VERDICT: Not a great start to horror...

If your kids are looking for a horror movie gateway, I'd recommend other places. Movies like Nightmare before Christmas, Beetlejuice, and Gremlins nailed the kid-friendly aspect while also delivering a hard edge years ago. This movie just does not work on a horror level due to its tone being mixed up and the comedy falls flat because the writing just isn't working. When we're not in the pizzeria, the whole film just immediately drops in quality and it really just sucks that this movie had to suffer the way it did. It's making a lot of money, so I guess this pizzeria ended up with the last laugh.

SCORE: 3/10, watch something else.

Daniel:

PLOT: Standard, but not awful.

The movie takes place in the year 2000, following the down on his luck Mike Schmidt as he is forced to take a job at the defunct Freddy Fazbear's Pizza Place, mainly to keep his sister Abby from being taken by his estranged and antagonistic aunt Jan. As he tries to discover the truth behind his younger brother's death, he discovers the truth behind the restaurant and the strangely lively animatronics who don't take kindly to trespassers or security guards.

This story is fairly generic, with no real standout ideas or deep messages, but it works fine enough for what is admittedly a very complicated game series, consolidating elements to keep them simple and allowing Scott Cawthon the chance to rewrite his own story. While the pacing can be a bit hit or miss, and the middle section drags, the story keeps pace enough to avoid boring the audience, and allows for emotional moments even if they're by the numbers.

Points: 5/10

CHARACTERS: Standard also, but with some standouts.

The FNaF series typically relegated characters to being vehicles for the story telling, so none of them were given great personalities. With this in mind, a movie could have been a great way to give us interesting characters we related to alongside pushing the story forward. Despite this, the characters in this one are still again nothing special, with Jan, Abby's babysitter, and even the animatronics being fairly one note or even confusing. The main characters and villain however were thankfully enough to keep the movie afloat, with them being standouts. Josh Hutcherson works well as a constantly exhausted security guard who just wants the truth and to keep his sister safe, while avoiding making him too mean early on. Piper Rubio admittedly has a weaker performance, but her relationship with the animatronics provides an interesting view on them even if I personally wished they went with a different angle. Elizabeth Lail seems uninterested at first, but as you go through the movie, her reasoning becomes clear and makes her retroactively more interesting. However, the true standout with sadly very little screen time is Matthew Lillard as Steve Raglan, as he truly does make the most out of his limited screentime, chewing the scenery and having fun with a performance I won't spoil. Overall, these characters are bare bones, but not awful, and truly some of them are good enough to keep you invested.

Points: 6/10

SHOTS: Standard yet again, but again with some standouts.

Given the genre, the shots are generally gonna be pretty bog standard, and this movie is no exception. However, a few of the scares do provide interesting cinematography and even allow things to happen in the background as any good horror flick should. Not a huge deal breaker for me, so I'll be generous on this section.

Points: 6/10

WRITING: Fan service admittedly comes first.

A FNaF fan will have a ton to chew on here, from little easter eggs to cameos and generally writing that comes from the games. With this comes the obvious tradeoff of having writing that works for the characters and plot in general, as it is fairly bog standard. What hurts it is some of the choices which lead to the final act being potentially underwhelming, and making me wish they kept going with some of the ideas established in the second act rather than going back on it. A FNaF fan may enjoy this more, and I certainly did, but again, nothing special.

Points: 5/10

CONS: Not really scary, even if that's the point.

Making it clear now, a FNaF movie was always gonna be a little goofy, so I'm glad this movie embraces it. However, the lack of scares does hurt the movie overall, leading to a general disappointment in the middle act from any horror lovers, especially with a lack of animatronics killing people as it goes on. The movie does incorporate some creepy imagery with characters later, and a running gag jumpscare provided does work great as a tongue and cheek nod, but otherwise, this movie lacks scares.

LITTLE THINGS: Easter eggs for days!

Much like the Mario movie, the easter eggs will delight fans, alongside various cameos from classic animatronics to even the occasional YouTuber. Fans will have fun with this.

VERDICT: Fine, but could have been better.

A FNaF movie coming after Willy's Wonderland and Banana Splits probably should have attempted to beat them, but regardless the movie is faithful, decently acted, and funny in the ways it wants to be, but generally lacks scares and the plot can be nonsensical alongside certain character decisions and plot points. If you are a fan of the source material or are fine with a lighter horror flick for younger people, check this out, but otherwise, I'd recommend other movies to get a real scare. SCORE: 5.5/10