Star Wars, Ranked

My first waking memory is contested, but my earliest happy memories were me sitting in front of the TV at my aunt's house watching Star Wars on a loop. I always had a loving relationship with these movies, although adulthood has soured my opinion of many of these movies. Now, I am sitting here thinking in the wake of a huge drought of Star Wars content, what better thing to do than to rank all the properties I have watched so far? This will include shows, movies, and the occasional short that might have come out. Sit back and relax as I talk about all things Star Wars!

Addendum: This list will change in the future as I add/move certain things to reflect new medium. I will repost or resend it any time I do.

17. Phantom Menace

It was definitely a tossup between both this and a couple other things, but this one is by far the most egregious example of why George Lucas needed far less creative control and how a director/writer can fail its cast. A very interesting premise that falls flat in direction, writing, and acting. Its stale performances, bland and often strange writing, combined with some of the worst direction of S-tier actors since The Happening, this movie is a slog of bad pacing, bland set pieces, and a ton of political discussions that culminates in a pretty exciting finale. Even the worst Star Wars movie has something worth watching for and it's the ending. The action at the end is over-choreographed, yes, and a bit stiff at times due to no real stakes, but the dogfight is cool to watch and it is legitimately exciting to watch Jedis fight two on one. However, the film suffers from several issues involved with a director having far more control than deserved. It's the worst Star Wars film, but still far from bad.

Rating: 4/10

16. Rise of Skywalker

Admittedly, this film has been far out of my memory for quite some time, but it was definitely a rough way to end not only the trilogy but just in general the Skywalker Saga. Although I appreciate the actors and much of the scope of this movie, especially when we get to the ending fight with the hundreds of ships, this film is poorly written and suffers from attempting to undo what Last Jedi tried to change about the series. Rey is just a nobody who's incredibly powerful in the Force, showing that anyone can become a powerful Jedi? Nah, it's just nepotism, she's now a Palpatine. Kylo Ren has no chance of redemption after the death of Luke and is the clear antagonist? Nope, Palpatine is back and Kylo gets a redemption arc (which admittedly works decently in any other film). Finn being Force sensitive, any sort of character development for Poe and Rose, and any sort of furthering of the villains are sidelined to undo what the previous film did. It feels disingenuous and at best shows a minimal understanding of the magic of the original trilogy. That being said, it has some great moments. I actually like most of the fights and how brutal they are. Most of the people get hung on up choreography, but my least favorite parts of the prequels are how over-choreographed they are. The actual hints towards Finn being a Jedi are cool. But, best part of this movie? C-3PO gets an arc and it feels strangely engaging. He's hilarious, tragic, yet fun. But, otherwise, unlike Palpatine, I don't see this movie somehow returning to any favor.

Rating: 4.5/10

15. Attack of the Clones

Now we get to the controversial choices: Attack of the Clones, while bad, is not as bad as the last two. This one has some half-decent action, Yoda being cool, and some interesting ideas exploring the idea of what war does. But, in between that, you get bad acting, more bad dialogue, and the most stiff and lifeless direction out of any of these films. That's saying something when you manage to make your main character, a bad boy in the 2000's, unengaging. Bad boys in the 2000's were all the rage, yet this one is boring and unengaging because the director couldn't make interesting arcs or stories since it had to tell what happened to the Jedi rather than show us. On top of that, the romance is lame and the actors don't sell it at all. Again, blame the director, but man, Hayden Christensen and Natalie Portman really struggled through this. Ewan McGregor manages to get a few laughs and decent moments, but everyone else just can't save this boring flick.

Rating: 4.5/10

14. Kenobi

Man, the TV shows really did fall flat with Boba and Kenobi. Two iconic characters and they couldn't seem to even represent them right. This show, while marginally better than the Prequels for the most part, suffers from strangely different issues. While Ewan McGregor finally acts his friggin' heart out and gives a knockout performance alongside Hayden Christensen, the episodes are too stretched out to form any sort of connection as you drag through this horrifically paced show. Having Leia as a kid show up was a huge mistake. They should've just had this be a three-four episode miniseries focused on Kenobi rescuing a Jedi and relearning what it means to connect to the Force. Those moments in the show are super cool and really show the best acting and writing off. However, it's slogged down by these boring moments of Joel- I mean Kenobi, walking around with Elli- I mean Leia. It feels half-baked and like this honestly could've been a two-hour movie with no compromises. What a waste of a great idea. Thankfully, Episode 5 and 6 make it all worth the watch as they deliver a gutwrenching battle between Vader and Obi-Wan, finally showing us what caused Obi-Wan to give up on his padawan after all those years. Shame it's in a mediocre show.

Rating: 5/10

13. The Revenge of the Sith

The best of a crappy series does not mean this is anywhere near good. It still has bad acting, direction, and writing, but benefits from an emotional-ish climax combined with terrific action and a swelling score that leaves you on edge. This film does its best to finish off the story of Darth Vader's genesis while leaving us with enough bread crumbs to tease what happens in between this and A New Hope. While it certainly drags on far too long, this film definitely is where things start to get more positive on my list. A solid movie weighed down by immense problems carrying over from worse movies.

Rating: 5.5/10

12. Book of Boba Fett

A show I actually defend despite its actual quality! Yeah, Book of Boba Fett has some really strange Spy Kids comparisons in the special effects and some of the set designs, but it makes sense considering Robert Rodriguez worked on this. This acts as a bridge in between Episode 6 and The Mandalorian as well as a bridge in between Mandalorian Season 2 and Season 3 and even teases Ahsoka and... yeah, this show cracks quickly under the immense weight of its need to have its own main character while also diverting focus to other characters unrelated to the story completely. It drives away any interest while also disillusioning people who might not have watched Mandalorian. That being said, it has some cool new lore for the Tusken Raiders, a really fun premise from an old western, and a surprise appearance from a bounty hunter whose name I shall not mention. Plus, the ending is quite good despite its hiccups. I consider this the bottom of the barrel for shows from the Sequel Era, but not quite on the level of bad that is the Prequel Era (where Obi-Wan falls).

Rating: 6/10

11. Ahsoka

This is where a jump in quality happens and most of the properties start getting good. This show proves why sometimes attempting to capture nostalgia can work and generate something new in of itself. The actors here all give solid although nuanced performances. The late Ray Stevenson gives a knockout performance as Baylan and made an immediately iconic character memorable. The writing is solid enough, although it relies heavily on nostalgia which docks it down quite a bit for me. Huyang is a great comic relief played by the always talented David Tennant and a delightful carry-over from The Clone Wars for those who watched it. Most of the Rebels stuff kinda went over my head as I have not watched it yet. The bad points are mostly how flat the actors can be in certain scenes while the action is a bit boring and uninspired. Overall, even this show with its flaws can be quite entertaining and fun to watch when it replays the hits. Watch it for a fun time!

Rating: 7/10

10. Return of the Jedi

Back to the good stuff! Although, hot take, this is the worst of the original films. Where A New Hope delivers an exciting new universe and Empire defined the genre, this film just brought along cute toys to sell to kids. While it's well-acted for the most part, has beautiful effects, and some clever writing, the film is bogged down slightly by its need to sell toys and deliver new exciting set pieces. The cold open is nearly 30 minutes of the film and, by then, you're kinda tuckered out from the constant exhiliration. It then flatlines into cuddly Ewok shenanigans and boring scenes of politics until the latter half when it raises the stakes with an awesome lightsaber fight and an exciting space battle. I'd say Mark Hamill is at his best here and Palpatine is an intimidating yet silly enough villain to make the conflict work just enough. Overall, this film is inoffensive and just really solid. If the worst of the originals is still better than the best prequel, then you know it's only up from here!

Rating: 7/10

9. Rogue One

An honestly lame hour-long spy film that suddenly jumps into a hour long war film that's better than the sum of the whole. The characters are bland or kind of just forgettable, the writing ranges from okay to dreadful until the final half, and the effects to recreate dead actors is horrific. That being said, the last hour SAVES this movie. The exciting battles between troopers and rebels, the death after death of main characters tearing at your heartstrings when you realize no one's coming home, and the most brilliant use of Darth Vader in any movie by far. Also, this movie has phenomenal cinematography from one of the greats Greig Fraiser and stellar music by legend Michael Giacchino, both of whom would work on The Batman together. The legendary talents lend themselves to an emotional climax in an otherwise lackluster flick. Watch the last hour, but there is a still solid film overall.

Rating: 7.5/10

8. The Force Awakens

Okay, don't get your pitchforks out just yet... but this film is aight. Pretty aight. Not, like, the best Star Wars film, but a solid entry into a series that has its very large ups and downs. A series such as this goes up and down again and again, but Force Awakens tapped into the magic of Star Wars and got people excited for the next few movies in a time when people were nervous about the future of the franchise. That being said, what they did after didn't please everyone, but Star Wars is in a far better place than it was at the time. While this film certainly taps into quite a bit from a previous film and even steals quite a bit of its plot, the acting is top-notch along with well-written dialogue and a snappy story that never leaves you really bored. The infamous twist at the end is gutwrenching and tears out every heartstring possible. Of all the ways to start off a trilogy, this was definitely one of the better ones and certainly better than the previous attempts. This was the film that got most people to come back to the galaxy not so far, far away.

Rating: 8/10

7. The Last Jedi

This film is a hated film by most. People deride it for its straying from previous films, the insulting of all things Star Wars, how it's woke, how it takes away from previous films, how it is boring, how it is NOT Star Wars. Well, here I am being a contrarian and saying this film slaps hard. With terrific effects, great acting, and fun choreography with action sets that, despite the mocking of annoying Youtube channels online, still looks engaging and holds your attention. The plot is a bit sluggish, but the film isn't here to just say the same thing. It's here to bring mysticism back to the Force and it does so very well. The way it visualizes the Force and makes it seem like a guiding hand rather than just space germs is so well-done and really shows the strengths of director Rian Johnson on showing rather than telling. The conflict between Rey and Kylo is powerful because of one small thing: their chemistry and how they are portrayed in this movie. While one is so obsessed with the dark side despite his pull to the light that he refuses to give in, the other is too tethered to the light to ever give in as she desperately conveys her wants for him to be redeemed. It's emotionally powerful and shows the struggle of the Force in a unique way. Yes, the casino scene could be cut. Finn's character arc is cut down, Rose can be a rough character, and Holdo's character is laughable. However, there's so many cool concepts, shots, and well-done acting in this movie that I don't really care about any of the rest. It's just a great movie to show how the Force is a mystical thing that doesn't care who you are. Rey, a nobody, is so powerful because the Force chose her, not because she's some Palpatine. Fans may hate it, but I love what this movie brought to the franchise.

Rating: 8/10

6. Mandalorian (Show)

This show went from possibly my favorite piece of Star Wars media to having a powerful second season to relying too heavily on cameos to really do anything for me other than disappoint. While Seasons 1 and 2 are by far some of the best Star Wars media we currently have, the quality dip in Season 3 just brings this show down heavily. Pedro Pascal is great as the Mandalorian, the lore built up by the show is interesting and shows a darker side to the Star Wars we know and love, and the cast of characters are engaging and fun to watch. The shots in the first season are also spectacular and rely heavily on the Volume, a filmmaking tool that relies on Unreal Engine to create backdrops of a stunning variety. They are then projected onto a dome, allowing actors to be in sets with proper lighting, space, and not look like they're green-screened in. It's immersive and brilliant. However, where the show falls flat is in its inability to let Mando go off on his own and continue the spaghetti western that developed in the first season. Grogu is also a huge hinderance on the plot, as his cutesy nature means they can't do anything extremely violent without panning back to Grogu being shocked. It's a hassle and drags the pacing of the show down. Additionally, the cameos of existing Star Wars characters as well as random actors showing up can be distracting at best and harmful to the story at worst. Jack Black is harmless, the Night Owls make sense, but when Ahsoka Tano and Luke Skywalker show up, it feels like fanservice and cheap fanservice at that. It takes away from the atmosphere and almost separation of content that The Mandalorian has. Overall, a great show bogged down by heavy problems in its later seasons. Here's to hoping that the movie ends up better.

Rating: 8/10

5. Solo

Yeah, this one is a weird choice for me too, but god this was a fun simple movie. After the Last Jedi left a bad taste in the mouth of fans, this movie was harmless and inoffensive and bombed at the box office because it came out too close to the last one. However, despite bad lighting and a bad twist, this film does so much right. Exciting action, well-done shots, great sound design, and a compelling set of characters. Solo's actor is so convincing not because he looks like Harrison Ford, but because he encapsulates Solo's attitude. The villain is kind of charming and goofy and fun, which really fits the tone of this movie. The constant back and forth of "who's fighting who" is really fun and makes it hard to guess how the movie will end. The music, by the way, is the best of nearly any modern Star Wars movie, as John Powell delivers an incredible soundtrack with great use of different tones and ideas that really fit well into this movie. Yes, shot composition has too much brown and black and the twist with a familiar face to those who watched Clone Wars felt forced, but it's just a really fun film. Solid all around, give it a chance and you'll likely enjoy it more than you think.

Rating: 8.5/10

4. The Clone Wars (Show)

What can be said about this show that hasn't already? Well, let's talk about the progression of it. Season 1... is rough. The first season is by far the worst and makes it hard to get into. However, move past it, and you have some of the best Star Wars content available. Actual character arcs with Anakin and Obi-Wan, a funny and badass padawan named Ahsoka, and development for the face of the show: The Clones. They become fully-developed characters who you follow the entire show. Many of them aren't throwaways either, you get attached and actually sad when they die because they're so close to the audience. This show has a ton of different types of episodes too: sometimes there's a focus on action, sometimes a focus on comedy, sometimes even a little focus on dark horror. The show has episodes of mysticism too, even some focusing on the origin of the Dark Side and the Light. It's super interesting to see the prequels given new life with this show. It's a whole new layer to a time period that received little development to begin with. Give it a watch!

Rating: 9/10

3. A New Hope

The classics! The first Star Wars film is easily one of the best and it's not even close. If you watch this in the mindset of someone watching it for the first time in 1977, it becomes immediately clear why this film paved the way for so much. It was a risk at the time and seeing these dazzling effects, epic characters, and grand story presented in such an exciting fashion show exactly why I fell in love with this franchise. Luke Skywalker is iconic, Han Solo is memorable, Obi-Wan Kenobi is the reason I own a model lightsaber. If it weren't for this movie, I would not be into science fiction and would likely never touch anything else even related to the topic. It's paced incredibly well with dialogue that, while sometimes hammy, gets across so much in so little time. If you've never watched this movie, I'd ask what basement you've been hiding in for nearly 45 years and to go watch this movie when you have time!

Rating: 9.5/10

2. Andor

Of all the good things to come out of Rogue One, I never expected Andor to be one of them. But, this incredibly-written, smart, and politically charged series shows Star Wars at its peak. It's emotional, mature, and talks about dark topics without treating you like a child. Diego Luna is a phenomenal carry-over despite my initial doubts and works so well as a jaded member of something more as he learns to fight for the rebellion. Stellan Skarsgard is a brilliant double agent and serves the plot incredibly well. The three-episode arcs are a phenomenal idea and really help the show feel different across its 12 episode run. The emotional speech from Andy Serkis at the end is the epitome of the show: undefeatable hope despite the odds and fighting to the death for what cause you stand for. This show reflects the best part of Star Wars without holding itself to the same rules as the movie. WATCH. THIS. SHOW.

Rating: 10/10

and 1. Empire Strikes Back!

Real shocker for this choice, I know. Empire Strikes Back has the most iconic plot twist of all time alongside the greatest villain arc of all time, so this was just an easy number one pick. Everything from the last one is upped. Dialogue is much more refreshingly well-written and even natural at times, the actors have settled into their roles and become comfortable as these characters, and the effects are even more insane than the last one. The planets all feel like real places that could exist in a far away galaxy and make the plot feel so grand and unique. Every twist in the plot feels earned and tugs at your heart even further as the characters struggle to get free from the grasp of the Empire. By the end, you're just hoping for one win for the group as Luke fights Vader and... it doesn't happen. Luke loses his arm, is told who his father is in one of the greatest twists ever made, and is forced to retreat to fight another day. In all movie properties since, when they hit the second part of the story, many of them call back to this by having the characters hit their lowest point and the evil bad guy force them to flee. Avatar of all shows references this brilliantly in its season 2 finale. If you're so iconic that other great shows take from you to build their story, then you've certainly done something right. This movie is the single greatest Star Wars film.

Rating: 10/10

So, now that the list is done, I want to say, even with my disdain for certain movies, you are allowed to like them! I have my own tastes and they are reflected here. Please let me know what movies you think could be moved or even if some don't belong here to begin with. Otherwise, this is Joseph at Double Down Reviews signing off.